Of Men and Money

Photo credit: Deanna Dent

These past two weeks I’ve been working a lot. It’s orientation for the program I work with and these weeks are some of the most intense of our program year.

But in the midst of the chaos and working and lack of sleep (and working) and stress (and working) and moving 10 individuals from 10 different countries to Phoenix, my friend and colleague Deanna took this amazing photo and I just can’t get it out of my head.

I thought about sharing the photo on Facebook with a short sentence, but then realized I had more I wanted to say. More I wanted to remember. More I wanted to reflect on.

My whole life I’ve spent time in banks…in South Dakota, Montana and Colorado. My dad was a banker through my growing-up years, and he worked hard—trying to make it home to have dinner with the family, and then returning to the office later in the evening. He often worked Saturdays too, but many times he’d take my brothers and I along (to provide Mom some sanity time, I'm guessing). I’m not sure how much “help” we actually were, but we became expert users of the shredding machine and there was something both fun and spooky about being in the bank when it was closed. We could wander through the quietness and behind the teller line (sneaking Dum Dums when we could find them!).

It was fun to go to work with Dad—I think my love for the “office environment” was born in those early days at the bank, as was my love for numbers, budgets, etc.

In middle school and high school, the bank Dad managed in Colorado had “popcorn” Fridays and I’d manage the popcorn machine after school, handing out bags of popcorn to customers waiting in line. Dad’s bank life provided some fun family adventures as well—one year we dressed up as Dalmatian dogs (white sweatshirt and sweatpants with black felt spots) and rode a bank float in the city’s annual holiday parade. Another year my brother Jon had the opportunity to throw out the opening pitch at a Colorado Rockies baseball game--at the time the bank was a major sponsor of the team.

But, it wasn’t all fun and games. I both saw and experienced the stress my dad was under as a bank manager and never-ever-ever desired that for myself.

However, I’m realizing that these days, things aren’t much different. Work-life balance flies out the window and it’s times like this that I’m glad I don’t have a family at home--because they’d never see me, and if they did see me, I’d most likely be “Crazy-Cranky-Kristi.” But ironically, it’s also these same days that I miss having someone to come home too—that person who could take one look at my face and know that the thing I most needed at that moment was a hug and a whisper in my ear saying, “You’re amazing. You’re going to make it. Tomorrow is a new day. I love you.”

Instead I control the chaos by making fun plans with friends and family—plans that force me to leave the office at a reasonable time, plans that allow me to eat, drink and be merry. Plans that have me organizing trips and vacations for later in the year. Plans that make me turn off “work-brain” and turn on “life-fun.” And I relax and am refreshed and feel ready to face another day.

And then I think of this photo.

In a bank once again.

And I am grateful.

In addition to all my “bank” memories, it brings to mind a mental picture from my childhood with my dad arriving home from a long day at the office…he’d walk in the house, find my mom (who was most likely in the kitchen making dinner), and give her a kiss. And I imagine that in that moment they were saying “You’re amazing. You’re going to make it. Your family loves you. I’m glad you’re home. Tomorrow is a new day.”

Thank you Deanna for capturing this moment.

Thank you Mom and Dad for the legacy of hard work and love that you model for me.

And thank you to all the people I work with who help me grow, both as a professional, and as a person. 

“No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” --Martin Luther King Jr.

What I'm thinking

I love that my nephew just finished his first year of elementary school. I think he's awesome and feel incredibly blessed that at this time and place in our lives we live just miles apart and I'm able to attend his school programs and baseball games. I treasure those times together, watching him grow, listening to him talk about birds and baseball and reading and movies and music.

I'm loving the new little house I'm renting. I love that I'm close to work, close to hip-hang-outs, and actually part of a real neighborhood. In the two months I've lived there I've met more neighbors than in all the 5+ years I've lived in Phoenix. I saw one of my neighbors making sun tea on his porch the other day and thought it was the coolest thing (and something you can almost do year-round here in Phoenix!).

I'm incredibly proud of my Dakotan heritage. The rural farming community that my parents and grandparents grew up in is celebrating their 125th anniversary next year--a quasquicentennial, or "Big Q" as I saw on a poster (because quasquicentennial apparently doesn't roll off the tongue). I was 9-years-old when the town celebrated it's centennial (100 years) and I have crystal clear memories of the amusement park rides that took over Main Street, the city-wide parade (that I helped build a float for), and the amazing pageant/drama show that the town put on. My grandpa grew a beard, my grandma donned a bonnet, and our entire family gathered together for the celebration. Now, with only one living grandparent still in residence, our family doesn't get back up there very often, but on a recent visit I realized that there are folks in that community that have known me my entire life. I've never lived there but they've seen me at auction sales and centennial celebrations, at funerals and 80th birthday gatherings. They've seen me in photos on my grandma's wall and in newspaper stories announcing our visit to town. We may not be Facebook friends or Christmas card exchangers, but they know me, or rather, they know my family. Both lines of my family. And though they may think me a "city girl" and my love for lattes a little looney, they accept me as a part of their extended community. And I'm realizing that in some ways, that small community is more "home" than any place I've ever, or will ever, live.

I think I'm getting lazy. I'm not talking gym-lazy here (though that is also an issue), I'm talking I need to buy a garden hose and seriously considered ordering one from Amazon just so I wouldn't have to lug one home from an actual store. For now I'm going to blame the summer heat of Phoenix for causing this line of thinking.

I'm not using the internet at home for a few weeks (due to somehow exceeding my monthly home internet data-usage limit last month--though I was out of town for almost 2 weeks). Instead, I'm teaching myself how to utilize my iPhone for more things (like shopping on Amazon, see paragraph above), and I'm reading more. Crazy concepts, right? It's been a bit eye-opening. There's only so much time I can spend looking at my tiny iPhone screen, so unlike with my laptop, I'm not losing track of time reading my favorite blogs, planning my next travel adventure, or getting caught up with my favorite TV shows. I think this mini-vacation from internet overuse is not necessarily a bad thing (though it's still easier to pick up a book then to tackle items on my to do list).

Today is my parent's 37th (I think) wedding anniversary. They do so much for our family (babysitting, house projects, loaning of vehicles), and I'm so grateful for them. I can never repay all the things they've done for me, all the complaints they've listened to, all the coffees they've bought and meals they've cooked. My heart overflows with gratitude and I'm thankful for the blessing they are to our family.

I've promised blog posts to several friends, and though this post doesn't really cover any of the things it's supposed to (photos of my new house, my crazy auction sale adventure, visiting a new church), it's randomness sort of characterizes my state of mind these days.

Oh, and one more thing I've learned of late--words can hurt. I've received some harsh criticism recently, and whether justly or unjustly received, it's called me to take a closer look at my own communications with others. Because (shockingly) I do sometimes speak without thinking. Or, think and then speak (with the intention to hurt). And apparently I sometimes say/do things that I think are innocent, but have completely different implications. This is life, right? And sometimes it's not always a bowl of cherries, but I'm trying to learn to "take the high road" and "grow a thicker skin" but, man, sometimes that's just hard. And hard ain't easy (though margaritas, lattes and Culver's hamburgers help).

Taking the leap on Leap Day

If there's ever a day to do something wild and crazy (and potentially disastrous), why not choose a day that only comes around once every 4 years? Case in point: I have no idea what I was doing on February 29th, 2008. No idea.

And four years from now I probably won't remember most of the 87 things I did today. But hopefully I'll remember one thing--because I did something totally brave, completely scary, and highly rewarding (hopefully!!).

And I had no idea that today was, in some ways, the day to do such things (didn't realize it until someone mentioned it at choir tonight).

Anyways, this is a huge deal for me--for others it's second nature, but for me it's a big deal. And at this moment  I'm oh-so-proud-of-myself (and would prefer to not relive the scene in the bathroom where I'm giving myself a pep talk in the mirror and rehearsing my very basic line which includes handing over my cellphone number, asking if he's seeing anyone, and recommending we get together for dinner or something soon--and then running like heck).

The good news is that he said he was thinking the same thing (sigh of relief from me). And, later he texted and said I made his day (double-sigh of relief).

And so the adventure begins!

The difference a decade makes

It's time for trip-a-month #3! This month I'm headed out to my old stompin' grounds...a city in western Colorado where I spent most of my formative years (middle school, high school and college).

On a side-note, if you're looking for some fun, I highly recommend this traveling thing--even though I've taken winter clothes on all my trips this year, it's still fun to pull out that suitcase!

The funny thing is, I couldn't wait to get out of Grand Junction and I left less than a week after graduation. I hadn't wanted to stay there for college, but received an offer I couldn't refuse, basically went to college for free, and when my parents moved away after my freshman year I still had that early opportunity to "be on my own."

I never lived on campus. I never did anything terrible. I never had any wild and crazy drunken nights (my very first shot of Goldschlager during karaoke night was fairly tame). I think I went to one football game and one basketball game. Though I spent a lot of time at school, school spirit was most definitely not my middle name.

I'm planning to take a stroll down memory lane at my alma mater...which this week has proposed a school name change. Even the old building where I took all of my business classes is being demolished to make way for something. Change is good and progress is important, but the whole thing just makes me feel old (though I suppose my diploma is even more one-of-a-kind now than it was before).

The other great thing about this trip is that it's brought to mind some of the great experiences of my senior year. Nights spent with great friends having some good 'ol fun...

• Blizzards at the local DQ
• Catchphrase and a rousing rendition of our own version of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
• Fajitas and watching the TV show Ed
• Karaoke at the local hotel bar
• Matt & Tiff's pancake breakfasts, Ali's homemade pizza, and Rhonda's 25th birthday party that included 25 lbs of flour, 25 pennies, and 25 pairs of underwear
• An end-of-year party where our friends Sally & Jay totally schooled us when they unveiled their "secret" friendship (and then we followed them to campus and totally spied on them in the coffee shop and parking lot--not my finest moment, I will admit)

From a social aspect, my final year of college was great--it was certainly challenging to try to figure out next steps (I still only have a flippant response to that "what do you want to be when you grow up" question), but I had a fantastic group of friends. Looking back, if I have any regrets it's that I worked too hard (a full class-load plus a retail job at the mall, a work-study job on campus, and an internship with the city), and didn't play hard enough.

I'm hopeful I've had a lesson-learned in all of this. Some days I remind myself that it's important to have an equal balance of work-hard/play-hard (with emphasis on play). I've found that sometimes you can become so consumed with the pushing ahead, that you forget to enjoy the now.

And though I'm living in the now, now, there's nothing wrong with taking a look back every once and awhile.

Oh, and the best part about this trip? I'm planning to see LOTS of old friends (including all 4 of my college roommates!). The best part about getting together with old friends? Despite the years gone by without seeing each other face-to-face, and the marriages, divorces, kids loved and lost, it's like no time has passed at all.

An education

Ten years ago this week, I was on Christmas break, in the middle of my senior year at Mesa State College (Grand Junction, Colorado), visiting my family in South Dakota, and preparing to take the GMAT (a graduate admissions test for business students). The GMAT scores are valid for 5 years and though I didn't have any type of solid plan, I was sure that I would start graduate school sometime shortly after my college graduation.

Ten years later I finished a master's program--though my path to graduation was completely different than I had originally envisioned.

I did not go to business school. I did not get an MBA. I did not use my GMAT scores.

But, I did...
...live in Thailand (and received an education of a different sort).
...start an MBA program (but discovered I wanted a different experience from my undergrad--in business management--and left the program after one class).
...begin a career in higher education administration (and now have 7-1/2 years of experience at two different universities under my belt).

There were definitely times I wanted to quit and was so tired of writing research papers (especially during the early days in my program when I didn't have internet access at home!). But thanks to the support of friends and family, and my own desire to accomplish something, I FINISHED.

I tell people I'm done with school--that you won't see me in a doctoral program...but, who knows. Ten years from now I might have something different to say.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Come on, ring those bells!

Despite no snow and no cold weather in Phoenix, I love this time of year. I love the joy, the carols, the sharing of the story of Jesus' birth, the presents (I mean, of course, that I love wrapping the presents!), the Christmas lights, the food--and I even love the hustle and bustle. I love the chance to reconnect with old friends and to reminisce about old memories as I pull out the Christmas decorations. And I love singing Christmas carols (anyone want to go caroling with me?!).

The other thing I love about Christmas is the sound of ringing bells. A few years ago, while living in South Dakota, I started playing hand bells with a group at my church. Though I had taken piano lessons for several years and knew how to read music, I had never picked up a hand bell before. The biggest difference between playing piano and playing the hand bells is that with piano you're an individual, with hand bells you're part of a larger group and everyone has to work together as a team to make the music "work." (And at times, it can be hard work!)

(This is me ringing alongside my friends Karady and Nancy)

This past spring my church here in Phoenix purchased a used set of hand bells and I've enjoyed being part of the first group to ring them. We rang several Christmas pieces this past Sunday and the weather was nice enough that we could play outside!

Anyone who loves music should try their hand at hand bells (pun intended). There's really only one thing you need to know in order to play--you need to know how to COUNT! Being able to read music is helpful, but not required since most people mark the notes they're responsible for with a highlighter or colored pencil. Having a sense of musicality is also helpful, but not necessary (it's helpful for when you get lost in the music and you're waiting for your neighbor to whisper the measure number!). But being able to count is a necessity--your assigned bells play at different times, in different measures, and you need to be able to follow along with the beats!

I love the challenge of playing hand bells. I love the fact that I have to let go of my perfectionist tendencies when I play--not only do I make mistakes, but my fellow ringers also make mistakes and I've had to learn to let go and just have fun! Wrong notes can very clearly be heard when playing bells but the show must go on!

I also love that like all music, every hand bell composition has some sort of musical story, or rather, a musical journey--a journey that I enjoy traveling with my bell ringing colleagues.

(My nephew Carter enjoyed "directing" the bells, and niece Halle had fun dancing to the music!)

Oh, and though I forgot to blog about this earlier in the year, this completes #92 on the list!

Fa la la la la!

This past weekend I made my debut performance in the Festival of Lights (FOL) at Palmcroft Baptist Church. For 15 years, Palmcroft has hosted a FOL Christmas production (different every year) that includes choir, drama, live orchestration and lights that hang from the rafters and criss-cross around the room (75,000 lights in all!). Though I had attended the performance last year as part of the audience, this was my first time involved as a member of the choir and I had a blast.

(See the lights hanging from the ceiling above the set? They're strung all around the auditorium like that!)

I loved it all--the singing, dancing, acting, sharing of the Christmas story and that God is the "Hope of the World." I loved the months spent memorizing music and the extra rehearsals leading up to the performances. I loved getting to know my fellow choir members more personally and making some new friends. I loved praying for people in the audience who were perhaps hearing the salvation message for the first time in their lives. Truly it was an amazing experience to be part of something with eternal implications.

I loved seeing everyone's costumes, and hanging out "backstage." And I loved that the program didn't list any names--though we were having a great time, it wasn't about us--we were simply a vessel, a tool, to be used for God's purposes.

(My friends Kara and Heather made great singing partners and wonderful new friends!)

A quick note for anyone interested in attending in future years (it's never too early to start thinking about who you'd like to invite!): the event is completely free--an outreach to the community, friends, family, co-workers, neighbors--but tickets are required (the performances are packed--we even had to add an extra performance this year!).

(Carter and Halle came to the first performance with mommy and daddy, and then came back
on day 2 for cookies and hot apple cider with nana and papa!)

My internet love story

Warning: This is a LONG post (perhaps one to be read over several sittings)—I had originally thought to split it into several posts, but decided to keep as one. Proceed with caution!

A year ago I did something I never thought I would do—I took a risk, stepped out on a ledge, and went flying without a safety net.

A year ago I joined an online dating website called eHarmony (eH).

For several years, both good friends and my loving family had encouraged me to give online dating a try. Despite the tales of positive experiences and personal “success” (marriage) stories, I didn’t think it was for me. Honestly, it just seemed too…formulated, desperate, and doubting of God’s plan for my life. (And also a little scary!)

But a year ago, on Labor Day weekend, I somehow found myself with some time, and I decided to sit down and complete the eH questionnaire (it included 488 questions—no exaggeration). I’m not sure what the trigger was—perhaps the recent news of another friend getting engaged? Or hearing that several friends who had small children were planning to leave their careers to be stay-at-home moms? Or, maybe it was just one family gathering too many where I was the only single person (above the age of 7) in attendance?

Don’t get me wrong—I loved my single life and the freedom it entailed, but a year ago I think I started feeling like maybe there was a little something missing, and maybe there was a little something that I could be actively doing about it.

It happened to be a “free communication” weekend when I joined (they do those every so often to pull people in), so I didn’t have to pay immediately. After a few days I decided that if I really wanted to commit to this, that I would need to commit, really commit. And thus I found myself paying for a year-long membership. I think I thought that would somehow take a bit of the “pressure” off—which it did—a year allowed me time to make mistakes, take some risks, and discover that I’m more comfortable and confident in myself than I realized.

I joined eH with low expectations, and I actually think this helped me have the positive experience that I did. The process seemed too clinical to be romantic, and too random to be any kind of magic wand. And though in the beginning I was dubious about the eH system, they make it very easy, very positive, and very safe. You’re automatically “matched” with people according to the responses on their exhaustive questionnaire. You can set certain parameters to your matches, such as geographic location, age, level of education, drinking/smoking frequency, kids/no kids, race, religion, etc. Then, once you’re matched with someone, you can review their basic profile and decide if you want to start “communicating” with them (or if you want to “close” the match without communicating at all).

There are four steps to the eH “guided” communication process:

1) Multiple choice questions (chosen from a list provided by eH)

2) Sharing “must haves” and “can’t stands” (again, chosen from lists provided by eH and along the lines of, “I must have someone who is kind, has a sense of humor, can communicative, is patient,” or, “I can’t stand someone who is mean-spirited, or a gambler”)

3) Short answer questions (chosen from a list provided by eH or you can submit your own question)—this includes everything from “what is the one dream you have for your life that you wish to come true,” or “describe your spirituality,” or “describe your personal style” (my least favorite question!)

4) Open communication (exchanging emails within the eH system)

During the first several months I was shy, tentative, and overwhelmed with the process and the time commitment. Before I knew it, I’d been provided with over 100 matches to review (I was originally open to being matched with guys from across the country). In the beginning I highly underestimated the time commitment involved with establishing online relationships (I’ve gotten a bit better at this!). Reviewing matches takes time, each step of communication takes time, trying to remember what you’ve told to who during open communication (step 4) takes time. Spending time in prayer, convincing yourself that you’re not going insane, takes time. Lots of time involved here—but there was always lots of laughter too.

eH recommends that you stay open-minded and start communicating with everyone. I definitely think being open-minded is good (certainly I expect that of others), but eventually you have to institute some parameters to separate the wheat from the chaff. I definitely wasn’t a perfect online dater, but I did try to have fun and be open to new experiences. Sometimes I didn’t check my account for weeks at a time. And it took me months to realize that I should narrow my search to local people—that I really wasn’t interested (at this point) in flying somewhere to meet someone. Plus, it took me several months to figure out that if I wanted something to happen to meet someone face-to-face, that I most likely needed to initiate it. So, for those matches that lived in the valley, and that were in step 4-open communication, I started suggesting lunch or meeting for coffee. And that’s how my “first dates” happened. Guess I’m a 21^st century gal—this isn’t something I necessarily prefer, just the way things worked out.

I went on some good dates (checked off #37 from my 101 list)—“good” in the respect that the guys were nice, we had some fun, and I arrived home intact and realizing that I can actually date (or rather, I am date-able). Someone once said online dating is “reverse dating”—meaning you often know lots of the details of someone’s life before you even meet in person—this is pretty true, and can make things both more, or less, comfortable. My dates, though good, did not turn into lasting relationships—and the old saying is right: breaking up IS HARD to do (especially when you’re the one doing the “breaking”)!

I grew tremendously through this process, and also learned a lot by reading the book called How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Dr. Henry Cloud (author of the Boundaries books). I had never heard of this book until I saw it mentioned on the profile of one of my eH matches, but reading it last fall caused a significant shift in my view on dating (which was mostly developed by a book I read as a teenager called I Kissed Dating Goodbye). Part of the shift was the idea of dating for fun--to learn more about yourself, and more of what you're looking for in a possible mate. I highly recommend this book to anyone who's looking to date, or has struggled with dating (and I've already shared copies with several friends!).

Just to clear up any confusion--yes, I want to fall in love, get married, and have children. I see the joys (and trials!) that friends, cousins and siblings have found in marriage and family—of course I would love to have that experience for myself. But, even without those things, I am incredibly, incredibly blessed, and I have so many people that I can share my love with. Most importantly, I know the Lord has me firmly in the palm of His hand (Jeremiah 29:11), that He has a plan for my life, and that I can be content whether or not that plan includes marriage.

There’s no need to feel sorry for me, or for other single people. I know many women who are smart, beautiful, and single. Their experiences, literally, span the globe, where they work as teachers, journalists, missionaries, corporate executives, etc. Their singleness doesn’t define who they are, or diminish their life accomplishments. They embrace life and know the One who is the source of true happiness.

A year in, this was a great experience for me--I'm not married, engaged, or in a serious relationship, but I got out of my own way, and tried something new. I don’t regret not trying it earlier—I think the timing was perfect and I think the nudging a year ago was by the Lord’s hand. And, I’m thankful to be surrounded by friends and family who, during the past year, loved me, laughed with me, and encouraged me.

My own personal desire is to live a life of purpose and meaning—and that can look like a lot of different things. Right now that means being the best daughter, sister, auntie, niece, granddaughter, friend, employee, colleague, etc., I can be. I’m certainly not perfect in any of those roles, but I love that I get to be all those things to all those people—and for me, right now, that is enough.

So, did I cancel my membership? I was planning to—I decided a year was enough and I was ready to try something different. But then I was matched with a local guy who said this in his profile:

There are a lot of fish in the pond, but I feel I have a ton to offer. I come from a very good family and am very happy and content with my life. I'm blessed to have great health, an awesome job, and a nice home. I'm just looking for that special someone to make it all that much better.

He initiated communication with me first, and though we’re still in the early, early, early stages, I felt there was some potential there—enough potential to keep my membership active for another month—just to see what happens!

(Not to say that I’m not open to blind dates, or other dating suggestions…if you have a neighbor, colleague, friend, barista, etc. that you’d like to send my way, bring ‘em on!)

Some of the ones that could have been…

“Justin” from Anchorage, Alaska—What attracted me to Justin? 1) one of the recent books he had read was Watership Down (don’t ask), 2) his work takes him out of town every two weeks (I like me some personal time), and 3) I thought he was cute. But after getting through the first three stages of communication, Justin closed me on the final stage, saying I had “never responded.” Huh? Uh, yea, I was waiting for you to write the first “open communication” email…

“Kevin” from Grand Junction, Colorado—I went to high school and college in Grand Junction so that city is filled with fond memories and old friends. Kevin was the one and only person I Google-stalked—he listed his occupation as “entrepreneur” (which some men use as code for “currently unemployed”) but one of his photos had him in a Chick-Fil-A shirt…using the world-wide-web and my mad research skills, I discovered he’s the manager of the Chick-Fil-A in town. I LOVE that place! However, after I initiated the first stage of communication, Kevin closed our match, with the response that he was “currently pursuing a relationship.” Good for him, bummer for me.

“Robert” from Orange City, Iowa—One of my very first matches, and the first to get through all four stages of communication, was Robert. Robert was a Spanish teacher in Iowa, who grew up on a farm, and built homes in his spare time. Robert and I communicated for a time, but then Robert discontinued his membership with eH, and suddenly that was the end of that.

Some of the ones I stopped before they had a chance to get started…

“Patrick” described his occupation as a "CEO", though his profile later said he was really a "self-employed entrepreneur" who moonlights as a fitness model for men's fitness magazines. Sounds like the perfect guy, right? Until this statement came along on his profile: “I do not like waiting for anything. I prefer immediate first class service.”

Then there was “Jason,” who, once we were in open communication, asked me, “What influenced you to pursue a career in journalism, I mean besides having a face for television?” This was back when I had my occupation listed as a “Journalism Grant Manager”—which I shortly changed since many people seemed to think I was a journalist—which I had to nip right in the bud!

One of my favorites was “James” who listed his occupation as 'Costco Shopper' and who typically spends his leisure time “squeezing twinkies at grocery stores.” James says the first thing you'll probably notice when first meeting him is "what the he@# is that smell?!"

“Dave,” age 32, an audio visual manager, from Tucson, AZ, says the one thing he wishes more people would notice about him is: “My amazing thigh muscles. Seriously, they're amazing. I've been cycling for years, but you just can't see legs through pants, or even the long shorts I wear. I wish I could show them off more, but I'm just so pale. Gotta work on that. Seriously though...I wish people would notice my hair follicles. Completely awesome! I've been using Pantine Pro V for 10 years, and my follicles would be on the cover of Men's Health if anyone could see them. The greatest compliment anyone can say to me is, "Dude...those follicles are insane. How did you develop those?" I could totally be a Pantine spokesperson.” Dave also says the first thing people notice about him is: “My aurora. It's not an appearance thing, though. People just feel it. Monks and nuns have been trying to get me to pose so they can paint me. I just don't have the time. The Catholic Church has been trying to saint me for years. I keep telling them I'm non-denominational. They just won't leave me alone.”

See what I mean about this process being fun/funny?!?

“Edward,” age 41, a scientist/entrepreneur from Irvine, CA….Edward (who I like to call “Eddie” because I think it’s funny) and I were matched during my first week on eH. And he’s my only match that I’m still in contact with from those early days. I definitely don’t feel any chemistry with Eddie, but he does crack me up (as in, who does this guy think he is?!). Eddie comes to Phoenix a few times a year, but we haven’t been able to connect in person (mostly my fault). And, though he’s invited me to come to California several times, I continue to decline. I think the email below says it all (a little background—he had asked a question about three annoying habits I have—I listed one as being a bit crabby before I’ve had my morning coffee. The work trip he mentions was last fall when I was in LA—an opportunity for he and I to meet in person that I just wasn’t ready for, but turns out he was in Phoenix around the same time)—it’s hard to believe that Eddie hasn’t found his “soul mate” yet…

The subject line of Eddie’s email: Lucy Van Pelt, is that you?? [I had to Wikipedia this, but he’s referring to “Lucy” from the Peanuts cartoon]
Message: You know... CRABBY! ;) OK, OK, it's only before your coffee... but beware to the poor unsuspecting soul who dares to rouse you at the crack of dawn... or before dawn. ;) Well, it's been fun getting to know you Kristi, albeit a bit glacierly. Ha! I was a bit disappointed not catching you last week, but it was probably for the best since I was running left and right the whole time in your neck of the woods. I hope you had a lovely trip for work and got all that you needed done. Where did you go? Anywhere nice, do tell? I see that you had a very interesting path to your current job/career. It goes to show one never knows what God has in store for us. So, I'm really glad that He has blessed you with a job that you love... minus the politics, of course. LOL But, politics is a fact of life in almost everything. Heck, even relationships involve some politics. And women are indeed the master of relationship politics, no doubt. Otherwise, how do they get us poor men to take out the trash?!??

I let Eddie know that the only person other than me that takes out my trash is my dad. I neglected to mention that referring to someone as “glacierly” really can only be taken one way (and is that really a word?!).

Some things I discovered I don't like...

• Men who don't believe in using punctuation, or correct spelling
• Men who wear lots of jewelry
• Men who overuse text language in emails
• Never-ending small talk via email or the phone
• Having the "you're a really great guy, but…” talk

For Mother's Day

A few months ago I was browsing my friend Christin's blog and jumped over to a blog she had linked on her page--and was struck by the post for that day. Really struck. Struck so much that I FaceBook messaged the blog's author (which felt a little bit like cyber-stalking but I knew we had several mutual friends plus she's the wife of a former work colleague) and asked if I could share her blog post for Mother's Day. Sara responded and graciously gave her ok (thanks Sara!). You should definitely check out her Glimpsing Grace blog about her family (including two little boys and lots of parenting adventures!).

I've included the full blog post below--even now as I read it again, I'm struck with the simple truths it contains--and the love that a mother has to grow up her children, even at 3-years and 3-weeks-old, into men of God. Powerful stuff.

And I know, even though I'm now 30-something years-old, that my mom has a similar prayer for me--Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

March 11, 2010

On Choosing a Wife (from Glimpsing Grace)

Before I started this blog, I sporadically kept a journal for the boys. I tried to jot down a sentence or two each night before bed, detailing what they had done that day. I'd forgotten all about it until yesterday when Josiah unearthed it in a dresser drawer. As I paged through it tonight, I found this entry:

October 18, 2007

Let's talk wives. It's on my mind today even though at 3 years old and 3 weeks old, neither of you guys is thinking beyond your next packet of fruit snacks or bottle. It's nice of mom to look out for you, isn't it?

Here are the rules for picking out your future wives--

1) She must love Jesus.

2) She must love me.

That's all that's to it. Pretty easy, huh?

Now, once you're married , you're gonna need more rules. Here they are--

1) Never joke about divorce. It's never funny.

2) Find out which household chore your wife hates most and volunteer to do it.

3) Keep the gas tank in her car full.

4) Pray together every night before bed.

And, of course, there are rules for being good dads. Mom wants grandkids one day, ya hear? :-) You only need one -- be the same kind of dad you have.

love you,
Mom

#71 - Hike Piestewa (Squaw) Peak

Starting out with flashlights, my friend Chandy and I headed out Thursday morning to hike Piestewa Peak. We had hiked together a few weeks ago (I posted about it here), but we didn't quite reach the summit. This time when we met it was early, EARLY and still dark, but we were determined to make it to the top so I could check #71 off my list. Chandy is an awesome hiking buddy (thanks girl!) and within 35 minutes we were as far as we had gone last time (we even went faster than before!).

There's a little bench and resting area at the .9 mile marker, so we stopped for a moment so I could take some photos, then we started the challenging hike to the top (which took another 20 minutes!).

That last little bit was harder than all the rest put together--it's not that far, but a LOT more vertical!!! But it was so worth it!

And don't think this is the end! For the past two weeks I've also been hiking South Mountain with my brother's family--the weather has been beautiful here in Phoenix and I'm really developing an appreciation for the outdoors, the good exercise, and the great conversation that hiking with friends and family brings!

One Foot in Front of the Other

This week I hiked Piestewa (Squaw) Peak. I didn’t quite reach the summit, but it was within view (or would have been if the clouds weren’t in the way!). Regardless, it was something I hadn’t done before, took me way outside my comfort zone, and prepared me for my next venture when I hope to complete #71 on my list.

With a mug of day-old coffee, a banana and a water bottle I headed out into the cool, DARK, morning. Being able to just get up, throw on some sweats, tie my shoes, comb my hair, brush my teeth and head out the door was quite invigorating. I was right out there with rush hour traffic, but I wasn’t headed to work—it was a great feeling (although later I did eventually have to head to the office).

There are several trails in and around the Piestewa Peak area, but my hiking buddy, Chandy, and I hiked the Summit Trail:

Length: 1.2 miles (we hiked about .9 miles up—almost to the summit)

Elevation: 2,608 ft. – 1,400 ft. (hikers gain more than 1,200 feet in elevation on the trail)

Difficulty: Strenuous and difficult (this isn’t just me people—this is what the City of Phoenix site says!)

The morning was gorgeous, though cloudy and slightly misty. It was more dark than light when we started out and I was glad to be following an experienced hiker. I was also wondering if I should have brought my flashlight (when we first started out I could see the bobbing lights of other hikers up on the summit), but we were fine.

The cool breeze was absolutely refreshing (how often do you feel a “cool” breeze in Phoenix!?!), and the hike was great. The low-hanging clouds added to the ambiance and the peacefulness of the morning and it was beautiful.

Piestewa Peak is part of the Phoenix Mountain Preserves—watch out for the wildlife though. We didn’t see any, but possibilities include rattlesnakes, gila monster, horned lizard, chuckwalla, coyote, jackrabbit, cottontail rabbit, ground squirrel, and kit fox. I think sometimes I’m surrounded by so much “city” that I forget that I do live in the desert.

I’ve never been a big hiker (or a hiker at all despite having lived in Montana and Colorado—big nature states), but this experience has started to change my way of thinking. It was a gorgeous morning, I spent quality time with a friend, I did something good for my health (and didn’t fall and make a fool of myself), rush hour traffic getting there wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, folks were super-friendly on the trail—all in all, it was a big success and a lot of fun!